Wednesday, January 23, 2013
I am so sorry for being M.I.A.
I PROMISE I have a REALLY good and exciting reason. And as soon as we've announced things to those we love(I'm a big fan of the good old fashioned phone call), I will be back to scream it from the roof tops :D Just suffice it to say, it's wonderful, it's exciting and we're happy! It's also worth mentioning that the news is NOT about adding to our family ;) but I promise I will be back with exciting news, new pictures, and lots more! YAY!
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Just a little princess dance party!
LORDY BE. Ok. These kids are back. They bounced back beautifully! And in true Hogan girl fashion, they are BONKERS! Tonight they decided it was a princess dance party kind of night. Ever tried to get a picture of three twirling, bouncing, or in Sophie's case, spastic princesses? Hahaha, well it gets interesting. Honestly, there are no words. These kids are crazy! What's the saying, "A picture is worth a thousand words"? Well here you are!
PROJECT 365-Day 14
Ok, and these....there are just no words!
Yep, these kids seem to be feeling MUCH better! Now, can I catch up? We shall see :)
PROJECT 365-Day 14
Ok, and these....there are just no words!
Monday, January 14, 2013
It really is the little things that matter
Well the stomach bug ravaged this house. Not one person left unscathed! Not a great past few days. But then you look at the little things. I had to throw away lucy's crib mattress(don't ask.it was gross....thank you stomach virus), luckily(WHOOO HOOO, I usually don't have good luck) I have had a full sized bed in her room. I was just afraid to transition her. She LOVED her crib, she's 2 years and 7 months old and has never climbed out of it or fussed when she had to go to bed. Often times she would lead me down the hall and tell me she'd like to get in(Mommy tears, my baby is growing up). So maybe it was a little bit of her, and me ;) But I wasn't ready yet. She's only my sweet little baby for so long. I wasn't going to push her. But alas, the mattress could NOT be saved. Evie has a crib(that she has never slept in), but I didn't think it a good idea to put her mattress in her Lucy's crib in case the same thing happened again. Anywho..... I took my fear, yep mine, and decided it was the time to put my sweet baby Lucy in her big girl bed. It went surprisingly well. I baby proofed the entire room(again). I made sure no tippy furniture was in there(literally all that is in there right now is her bed, a basket with toys, and a couple weebles houses), all outlets were covered, door was baby gated, and the closet rigged to not open....waiting for the locks to arrive so I can install them. And I have to figure out a way to properly baby proof casement windows..... This one has me puzzled.
By the time I had finished the task, Lucy had already taken herself to bed on the downstairs couch. I moved her up. She was OUT. But she still felt a little warm. So I laid her down, tucked her in, and watched her sleep for a moment before I stepped out of her room. Then I went to my room and laid with Evie for a while, unable to sleep. In the wee hours of the morning, I tiptoed back in to her room. I felt her head, it was HOT. So she rolled over and saw me and smiled and said "Hi". She absolutely melts my heart. So I asked her if she'd like a drink and she said "yes" and reached up for me. We went into the kitchen and got some pedialite and sat together on the couch. I held her and rocked her, like I've always done. She talked to me about many things(she loves to talk), finally, it was time to get her back to bed. Before we went, I had to give her some medicine. I wish I had thought to take a picture. She is such a big girl, she waits for me to pour the medicine, then I have to hand her the little cup, and she drinks it like a VERY big little thing :) my heart swells again. She hands it back and says "Tank-tou". We went back into the room, I let her play on my ipad and lay with me for a bit to get her comfortable. She told me stories about her game. When we finally lay down, I turned out the light. She was fighting sleep so hard. I thought she was asleep at one point and whispered in her ear "I love you", she says in her sweet little voice "luh you". So I kept tickling her back, and playing with her hair.
Now it was incredibly late. But I didn't want to leave her. I stayed longer than I should have probably. At one point, she drifted off and then all the sudden reached up so slowly, gently touched my arm and rubbed it. Then she found my nose and kissed it. This kid really knows how to make this mommy's heart so happy! After a while more, I knew I had to get to bed. She protested. Wanted me to tuck in her baby doll(which she named Evie) and she reached for my hand. I told her it was bed time, everyone else was in bed and she had to go to sleep too. Everything I said, well I guess it wasn't convincing. Then I heard it. Evie was awake and ready to eat. She started to cry. I told Lucy "Mommy has to go get her baby now, she's hungry and needs to eat so she can go to sleep agian". Lucy let go of my hand and says "Ok. Night night". I gave her one last kiss and waited for her to say I love you back. Then I headed out of her room agian. Not a peep. Not until I went to get her the next morning. She was waiting, in her bed for me. I'm always nervous when I put a little bit of their babyhood behind them. But they usually do so very well transitioning. And as always, I try to document it. So here come the pictures!
First up
PROJECT 365-Day 12
Lucy and her transition to her big girl room
PROJECT 365-Day 13
This will explain why Lucy is most often photographed. She is usually the only one who will tolerate my camera! Poor Evie(and Mady and Sophie) get pretty cheesed after a little bit!
By the time I had finished the task, Lucy had already taken herself to bed on the downstairs couch. I moved her up. She was OUT. But she still felt a little warm. So I laid her down, tucked her in, and watched her sleep for a moment before I stepped out of her room. Then I went to my room and laid with Evie for a while, unable to sleep. In the wee hours of the morning, I tiptoed back in to her room. I felt her head, it was HOT. So she rolled over and saw me and smiled and said "Hi". She absolutely melts my heart. So I asked her if she'd like a drink and she said "yes" and reached up for me. We went into the kitchen and got some pedialite and sat together on the couch. I held her and rocked her, like I've always done. She talked to me about many things(she loves to talk), finally, it was time to get her back to bed. Before we went, I had to give her some medicine. I wish I had thought to take a picture. She is such a big girl, she waits for me to pour the medicine, then I have to hand her the little cup, and she drinks it like a VERY big little thing :) my heart swells again. She hands it back and says "Tank-tou". We went back into the room, I let her play on my ipad and lay with me for a bit to get her comfortable. She told me stories about her game. When we finally lay down, I turned out the light. She was fighting sleep so hard. I thought she was asleep at one point and whispered in her ear "I love you", she says in her sweet little voice "luh you". So I kept tickling her back, and playing with her hair.
Now it was incredibly late. But I didn't want to leave her. I stayed longer than I should have probably. At one point, she drifted off and then all the sudden reached up so slowly, gently touched my arm and rubbed it. Then she found my nose and kissed it. This kid really knows how to make this mommy's heart so happy! After a while more, I knew I had to get to bed. She protested. Wanted me to tuck in her baby doll(which she named Evie) and she reached for my hand. I told her it was bed time, everyone else was in bed and she had to go to sleep too. Everything I said, well I guess it wasn't convincing. Then I heard it. Evie was awake and ready to eat. She started to cry. I told Lucy "Mommy has to go get her baby now, she's hungry and needs to eat so she can go to sleep agian". Lucy let go of my hand and says "Ok. Night night". I gave her one last kiss and waited for her to say I love you back. Then I headed out of her room agian. Not a peep. Not until I went to get her the next morning. She was waiting, in her bed for me. I'm always nervous when I put a little bit of their babyhood behind them. But they usually do so very well transitioning. And as always, I try to document it. So here come the pictures!
First up
PROJECT 365-Day 12
Lucy and her transition to her big girl room
PROJECT 365-Day 13
This will explain why Lucy is most often photographed. She is usually the only one who will tolerate my camera! Poor Evie(and Mady and Sophie) get pretty cheesed after a little bit!
Friday, January 11, 2013
Let me introduce you to Murphy
His laws are my best friend! Be warned, if you ever ask "WHAT ELSE COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?", brace yourself! You're about to find out!!! So I usually try very hard to not utter these words, but I'm certain in the heat of the moment while Evangeline had that high fever, that I mistakenly let it slip. And then Murphy's Law paid me a visit! I can laugh, because if I don't, I might cry! Two out of four Hogan children have the dreaded stomach bug(DUN DUN DUNNNNNN). Well, yes, that certainly is worse. Thank you Murphy for dropping by and pointing that out! And tomorrow.... now that should be interesting! I'm willing to bet we'll be four for four in kids, and that it will get me too. But hey. What can you do? Get the buckets ready, break out every single anti-bacterial anything that you have handy, grab all the medicine you can, and brace for the inevitable! And then, you laugh. I promise, you'll feel better. For a moment. Oh and fabreeze. Don't forget fabreeze. Or anything that doesn't smell like sick. BLEH! So in the fashion of finding the bright side when you're sick, there's always baths right? They are always fun(when you're two at least). So that's what brings me to....
PROJECT 365-Day 11
BATH TIME!
At least one of the sickies is having fun right? Oh to be two. The moral of the story is........ don't ask what else can go wrong, because then it will ;) Have to run, it's soup and medicine time around here.
PROJECT 365-Day 11
BATH TIME!
At least one of the sickies is having fun right? Oh to be two. The moral of the story is........ don't ask what else can go wrong, because then it will ;) Have to run, it's soup and medicine time around here.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
And then life hits...
As a mom I am under no illusion that my time is my own. This is no complaint, this is just what my life consists of. I run off the feelings, emotions, health, and all else of four little beings. The way they do any of the a fore mentioned things can dictate how my life goes, and as a mom, that is just a fact. The reason I'm mentioning this is, my sweet sweet little Evie is sick. My project 365 days 8, 9, and 10 aren't being posted as I normally would. Why? Because my life, well it pauses when my wee one runs the highest fever, in my history as a mom(insert severe panic that you can't see, here). I've been nursing her constantly. She hates the taste of medicine(even the tastier variety) and I've had to get creative on how I dose her. I've had her stripped down to her diaper since the fever first made its presence known(and by the way, fever, I'd like it if you took a long walk off a short cliff. I HATE seeing my baby so sick). I've done all my mommy tricks, even made a last ditch effort and took her to the ER to no avail. Not an ear infection, not the flu, not a uti, not pneumonia. No answers. Still have a fever and a miserable baby.
Sigh, hardest thing to do as a mom. THE ABSOLUTE HARDEST, is to not be able to fix things immediately. My baby in pain is the most horrible feeling, deep down in my heart, in the world. As I mention this, miss Evie is not the only child, or situation I'm referring to. My older girls, while I didn't mention the anniversary, are missing their poppy. Songs remind them of him, words I say, pictures, and right now they hurt. Emotions are still so raw. When you lose someone, it's like time stops. There isn't a day since they left this world, that you go without thinking of them. And it's hard to go through, as an ADULT. Now, my children are going through this too. My dad, their Poppy, was a big presence in their lives. They were lucky to have him. We all were. He would follow where ever we went, because these girls and myself, were his heart. He was far from an emotional man. But he followed us. He followed his heart. And we knew. We all knew it. Especially my girls, so it makes losing him incredibly hard. My time with him was far too brief. A daughter should have her father for much longer than 25 years. And my babies, my sweet babies, it's so unfair that they lost him so incredibly young.
As I write this I know there are others who lost loved ones sooner than we did. And I feel for them, more than words can say. I can't even begin to imagine their pain, or their journey. But watching my babies grieve the loss of my daddy is TERRIBLE. I can't touch that hurt. I can't bring him back(and I would if I could. I would go to the ends of the earth and back, give up anything, I would do anything), and I can't make them hurt any less. It kills me inside that all I can do is say "I miss him too baby", and cry with them. My heart shatters with each tear that falls. I miss him, he's my daddy. But watching them hurt, it kills me inside. He is the best Poppy. He was there. Be it a birthday, a birth, a holiday, or just the opportunity to make a memory-- he was ALWAYS there. If you needed him, even to talk, he was as close as a phone call away. Having that ripped away from me, but more importantly, them, is so hard. I digress. I could go on about this all day. We miss him.
But this is my life as a mommy. Sometimes the things I want to do, are put on the back-burner. I'm every bit okay with that. It is how it should be. One day, they'll know. And until then, they feel important, loved, and safe. THAT'S my ultimate goal. To make it known that there isn't a single thing on this earth, that is more important or that I love even remotely as much as I love them. There is no hobby, no to do list, no "break" that I need, that comes before they do. And this brings me back to my 365!
It's time to play catch up while I hold one of the four most precious souls while she naps(and secretly wish I could physically manhandle this darn fever and make it get OUT off my sweet little girl). My project 365, well it's more than just a hobby. It's documenting my day to day life with these amazing little souls. They will be grown before I know it. I plan to soak this up and remember all the special little details. They are the things I'll have tucked away in my memory to make me smile. Those "tiny" things that make up each day--that's what life is about. There is no party I can go to or bar and drink that will find a spot in my memory when I have bedtime stories, giggles, tickle fights, boogie men to scare away, backs to tickle, smiles to look on, little faces to wipe, baby feet to touch, special talks to have, and THAT'S JUST THE CONDENSED VERSION--life as a mommy is HARD, but it's also a gift. One I promise to not take for-granted(and in this, I hope I'm doing my daddy, and his memory proud. If there is one single lesson that I had to choose to take away from my time with him, it's that family and making memories is FIRST priority). I will cherish these tiny moments, each milestone, and I'll be proud that they are my life. It's okay to put everything else aside, everything else can either wait, or it wasn't important anyway.
Here are my past few days. Normally I only add a photo a day, but these past few days warrant a few more, I think.
PROJECT 365-Day 8
you can see, in the background of this(iphone)picture, the mess that still sits......I need to put away decorations, but that can wait. This baby needs her mommy.
PROJECT 365-Day 9
my little Lucy was playing dress up and fell asleep in full Alice in wonderland attire. Her sweet little face and curls. I hope her dreams are as sweet as she is. Side note, incandescent lighting is my nemesis.
PROJECT 365-Day 10
today, still holding this sweet, feverish wee one.
These are not my best work. In my defense, I'm in the photo and was adjusting the settings after each frame, then holding it above my head, that's my opinion from the technical standpoint of my images. As a mommy though, these are pictures I will treasure. My baby, safe in my arms. She's sick but feels safe and comfortable enough to sleep on me. I'm a comfort item. I hope I always will be.
With that, I think that sums up my post for today(and the past few). Think fever reducing thoughts for us :) so I can have my active little smile machine back. Motherhood is calling, gotta answer!
Sigh, hardest thing to do as a mom. THE ABSOLUTE HARDEST, is to not be able to fix things immediately. My baby in pain is the most horrible feeling, deep down in my heart, in the world. As I mention this, miss Evie is not the only child, or situation I'm referring to. My older girls, while I didn't mention the anniversary, are missing their poppy. Songs remind them of him, words I say, pictures, and right now they hurt. Emotions are still so raw. When you lose someone, it's like time stops. There isn't a day since they left this world, that you go without thinking of them. And it's hard to go through, as an ADULT. Now, my children are going through this too. My dad, their Poppy, was a big presence in their lives. They were lucky to have him. We all were. He would follow where ever we went, because these girls and myself, were his heart. He was far from an emotional man. But he followed us. He followed his heart. And we knew. We all knew it. Especially my girls, so it makes losing him incredibly hard. My time with him was far too brief. A daughter should have her father for much longer than 25 years. And my babies, my sweet babies, it's so unfair that they lost him so incredibly young.
As I write this I know there are others who lost loved ones sooner than we did. And I feel for them, more than words can say. I can't even begin to imagine their pain, or their journey. But watching my babies grieve the loss of my daddy is TERRIBLE. I can't touch that hurt. I can't bring him back(and I would if I could. I would go to the ends of the earth and back, give up anything, I would do anything), and I can't make them hurt any less. It kills me inside that all I can do is say "I miss him too baby", and cry with them. My heart shatters with each tear that falls. I miss him, he's my daddy. But watching them hurt, it kills me inside. He is the best Poppy. He was there. Be it a birthday, a birth, a holiday, or just the opportunity to make a memory-- he was ALWAYS there. If you needed him, even to talk, he was as close as a phone call away. Having that ripped away from me, but more importantly, them, is so hard. I digress. I could go on about this all day. We miss him.
But this is my life as a mommy. Sometimes the things I want to do, are put on the back-burner. I'm every bit okay with that. It is how it should be. One day, they'll know. And until then, they feel important, loved, and safe. THAT'S my ultimate goal. To make it known that there isn't a single thing on this earth, that is more important or that I love even remotely as much as I love them. There is no hobby, no to do list, no "break" that I need, that comes before they do. And this brings me back to my 365!
It's time to play catch up while I hold one of the four most precious souls while she naps(and secretly wish I could physically manhandle this darn fever and make it get OUT off my sweet little girl). My project 365, well it's more than just a hobby. It's documenting my day to day life with these amazing little souls. They will be grown before I know it. I plan to soak this up and remember all the special little details. They are the things I'll have tucked away in my memory to make me smile. Those "tiny" things that make up each day--that's what life is about. There is no party I can go to or bar and drink that will find a spot in my memory when I have bedtime stories, giggles, tickle fights, boogie men to scare away, backs to tickle, smiles to look on, little faces to wipe, baby feet to touch, special talks to have, and THAT'S JUST THE CONDENSED VERSION--life as a mommy is HARD, but it's also a gift. One I promise to not take for-granted(and in this, I hope I'm doing my daddy, and his memory proud. If there is one single lesson that I had to choose to take away from my time with him, it's that family and making memories is FIRST priority). I will cherish these tiny moments, each milestone, and I'll be proud that they are my life. It's okay to put everything else aside, everything else can either wait, or it wasn't important anyway.
Here are my past few days. Normally I only add a photo a day, but these past few days warrant a few more, I think.
PROJECT 365-Day 8
you can see, in the background of this(iphone)picture, the mess that still sits......I need to put away decorations, but that can wait. This baby needs her mommy.
PROJECT 365-Day 9
my little Lucy was playing dress up and fell asleep in full Alice in wonderland attire. Her sweet little face and curls. I hope her dreams are as sweet as she is. Side note, incandescent lighting is my nemesis.
PROJECT 365-Day 10
today, still holding this sweet, feverish wee one.
With that, I think that sums up my post for today(and the past few). Think fever reducing thoughts for us :) so I can have my active little smile machine back. Motherhood is calling, gotta answer!
Monday, January 7, 2013
PROJECT 365-Day 7
As promised, today is the day I am introducing our smallest family member
MEET TILLY :) she's being snuggled by my oldest wee one Mady. This is one of the coolest dogs ever! She drives me crazy some days, but hey, who doesn't? She is super duper sweet. She puts up with so much, all the kids want to hold her and hug her and she's always so eager for lovins(yep, she loves the kids, it even surprised me). I used to have a chihuahua, Jellybean, back before I had kids. I had her until my oldest daughter was about 4, when she was stolen from our fenced in backyard while she was out for a bathroom break. We have Bella, and honestly, I adore her! She's my big snuggle dog, she makes me feel safe. But I think my husband always knew my heart still belonged to miss beans. That dog was the sweetest. EVER. So last Valentine's day, he tricked the heck out of me, and brought this girl home. Long story short, I was reluctant to give in and love this doggie(she's just not my Jellybean.but no doggie ever will be). It took a while, I was pregnant, and huge, and dealing with a lot and then.... I had a puppy! AHHH! All that worry for nothing though, she's a sweetie pie. She gets along with my Bella and all my kiddos!
The best part about this little girl, is that she is just, well, a cuddle bug. It doesn't matter if it's me, Mady, Lucy, or Soph. She is happy if she's in your lap or arms. This little bit completes our BIG family. She's just what was missing. One more snugly and sweet girl in our house(in case you haven't been keeping tabs....my husband is vastly outnumbered girls-7, boys-1). Now in case you also haven't notice... I'm vastly outnumbered as well! Luckily, the dogs are more forgiving than the kids. They are a bit more patient with me. All in all, couldn't be happier with this PINK TO THE BRIM house. But whew! It is hard to keep up these days! Colds are creeping in, and all in all, it's just a yucky time of year. I'm LONGING for the summer so we can get our butts out of this house more. Ah well, we will bide our time and try to keep things moving along....can't fast-forward time(though a girl can dream right) so we just need to try to pass the time as efficiently as we can!
With that said, dishes are calling my name--so I'm off agian! *le sigh* where on earth is the cleaning fairy when you need her?
The best part about this little girl, is that she is just, well, a cuddle bug. It doesn't matter if it's me, Mady, Lucy, or Soph. She is happy if she's in your lap or arms. This little bit completes our BIG family. She's just what was missing. One more snugly and sweet girl in our house(in case you haven't been keeping tabs....my husband is vastly outnumbered girls-7, boys-1). Now in case you also haven't notice... I'm vastly outnumbered as well! Luckily, the dogs are more forgiving than the kids. They are a bit more patient with me. All in all, couldn't be happier with this PINK TO THE BRIM house. But whew! It is hard to keep up these days! Colds are creeping in, and all in all, it's just a yucky time of year. I'm LONGING for the summer so we can get our butts out of this house more. Ah well, we will bide our time and try to keep things moving along....can't fast-forward time(though a girl can dream right) so we just need to try to pass the time as efficiently as we can!
With that said, dishes are calling my name--so I'm off agian! *le sigh* where on earth is the cleaning fairy when you need her?
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Project 365-Day 6
This little piggie....
got painted :)
yes, this sunday we decided it was time for all the girls to get some color on their nails(well aside from evie ;) and I must say, they had a blast! I can't get over Lucy's chubby little legs and tootsies though! LOVE THEM! And her. All the girls ended up picking various shades of blue(maybe they are as tired of pink as I am), and quite honestly I was jealous! I accidentally painted mine a dark, vampy reddish color.... I MEANT to paint them a taupy/purple. Oops. Wrong bottle of polish. Oh well!
Other than that I think these girls have made aim to steal my sanity in this new year. The caliber of injuries they have been having could be UFC worthy. Sophie has a busted lip, scratched up nose. These deserve explanation simply because this poor kid is as clumsy as I am. The lip is from being behind Lucy and being naughty(she tried to push Lucy out of a room), Lucy stood up quickly(she's as tall as Soph) and her head collided with Sophie's lip. Bam. Bloody and busted. Awesome :/ Then the nose.....this one is just funny. She was running, tripped on her own feet, and face-planted! She got carpet burn on the side of her nose! Mady injured her finger and Lucy actually injured her toe(ironically that's what sparked the pedicure.... it kept her from freaking out too much after I cleaned her poor hurt little piggie). Luckily Evie is unscathed(knock on wood), for now. Good lord though!You'd think having all girls would keep us from having so many bruises, bumps, and boo-boos....NOT SO!
Aside from that, I think this weekend went okay. Today was spent lazing around, being girls, and watching movies(disney, I think I love the movies more than they do. I was shushed during Aladdin for singing too loudly). Dinner was A-LA-MICROWAVE. Yes. I admit it! You know what? It was pretty yummy ;) thank you Schwan's! Now, it's bath and bedtime, so agian, I must be off. But tomorrow I think it will be the day I will introduce the smallest member of the Hogan family :) of course, pictures to come!
yes, this sunday we decided it was time for all the girls to get some color on their nails(well aside from evie ;) and I must say, they had a blast! I can't get over Lucy's chubby little legs and tootsies though! LOVE THEM! And her. All the girls ended up picking various shades of blue(maybe they are as tired of pink as I am), and quite honestly I was jealous! I accidentally painted mine a dark, vampy reddish color.... I MEANT to paint them a taupy/purple. Oops. Wrong bottle of polish. Oh well!
Other than that I think these girls have made aim to steal my sanity in this new year. The caliber of injuries they have been having could be UFC worthy. Sophie has a busted lip, scratched up nose. These deserve explanation simply because this poor kid is as clumsy as I am. The lip is from being behind Lucy and being naughty(she tried to push Lucy out of a room), Lucy stood up quickly(she's as tall as Soph) and her head collided with Sophie's lip. Bam. Bloody and busted. Awesome :/ Then the nose.....this one is just funny. She was running, tripped on her own feet, and face-planted! She got carpet burn on the side of her nose! Mady injured her finger and Lucy actually injured her toe(ironically that's what sparked the pedicure.... it kept her from freaking out too much after I cleaned her poor hurt little piggie). Luckily Evie is unscathed(knock on wood), for now. Good lord though!You'd think having all girls would keep us from having so many bruises, bumps, and boo-boos....NOT SO!
Aside from that, I think this weekend went okay. Today was spent lazing around, being girls, and watching movies(disney, I think I love the movies more than they do. I was shushed during Aladdin for singing too loudly). Dinner was A-LA-MICROWAVE. Yes. I admit it! You know what? It was pretty yummy ;) thank you Schwan's! Now, it's bath and bedtime, so agian, I must be off. But tomorrow I think it will be the day I will introduce the smallest member of the Hogan family :) of course, pictures to come!
Saturday, January 5, 2013
PROJECT 365-Day 5
just keep swinging, just keep swinging.
yes my baby, just keep swinging! Yet another piece of her babyhood that will soon be outgrown, her beloved swing. She's now so big, she bends and stretches and can almost get out of it. I have to be sitting very near, and make sure she falls asleep in order to make sure it's used safely. Otherwise she uses it to induce heart attacks ;)
Today is Saturday, just another Saturday. We are beginning the cleaning/de-cluttering we've been needing to do for so long! Getting ready for guests, and for that guy we've been missing for 161 days(not like I'm counting or anything). We're in the double digits on our countdown(this is where I do a happy dance), can't say exactly where we are, but let's just say, we've plowed through the days and have fewer left than we have gotten through! And I actually HAVE a countdown for when Aunt Erin arrives, and WOW! 1 month! Can you believe it? I can't! Count me one happy lady! I'm sure there will be lots of pictures to come from her visit!
Until all the fun begins, we're just going to be getting this big huge mess cleaned up! *Sigh* cleaning a whole house with all these kids, well as the saying goes "is like trying to brush your teeth while eating Oreos". So very true! But I'll start making lists, weekly goals, and we will power through(and accept that some things will not get done) and all will be well! Did I ever mention I'm a compulsive list maker? Yes, yes I am. I admit it. Are there meetings for people like me? "Hi, I'm Jes, I'm a compulsive list maker. I make lists for EVERYTHING".....multiple lists sometimes, for the same thing....if it's not organized to my liking, or if my handwriting looks wonkyt. YET, I'm so darn messy! I'm working HARD at fixing it(starting with really deep cleaning and organizing one thing at a time), whew, I just don't know how some people do it! But I'll give it a whirl :) plus, who doesn't feel a little bit better in a clean(and decorated) room? And since it's still winter, it will certainly help for photos!
Well, it's Saturday night, kids are getting ready for bed, so it's time for teeth brushing and the rest of the nightly rituals we have to do! So I must be off!! I hope everyone is having a good weekend!
Today is Saturday, just another Saturday. We are beginning the cleaning/de-cluttering we've been needing to do for so long! Getting ready for guests, and for that guy we've been missing for 161 days(not like I'm counting or anything). We're in the double digits on our countdown(this is where I do a happy dance), can't say exactly where we are, but let's just say, we've plowed through the days and have fewer left than we have gotten through! And I actually HAVE a countdown for when Aunt Erin arrives, and WOW! 1 month! Can you believe it? I can't! Count me one happy lady! I'm sure there will be lots of pictures to come from her visit!
Until all the fun begins, we're just going to be getting this big huge mess cleaned up! *Sigh* cleaning a whole house with all these kids, well as the saying goes "is like trying to brush your teeth while eating Oreos". So very true! But I'll start making lists, weekly goals, and we will power through(and accept that some things will not get done) and all will be well! Did I ever mention I'm a compulsive list maker? Yes, yes I am. I admit it. Are there meetings for people like me? "Hi, I'm Jes, I'm a compulsive list maker. I make lists for EVERYTHING".....multiple lists sometimes, for the same thing....if it's not organized to my liking, or if my handwriting looks wonkyt. YET, I'm so darn messy! I'm working HARD at fixing it(starting with really deep cleaning and organizing one thing at a time), whew, I just don't know how some people do it! But I'll give it a whirl :) plus, who doesn't feel a little bit better in a clean(and decorated) room? And since it's still winter, it will certainly help for photos!
Well, it's Saturday night, kids are getting ready for bed, so it's time for teeth brushing and the rest of the nightly rituals we have to do! So I must be off!! I hope everyone is having a good weekend!
Friday, January 4, 2013
PROJECT 365-Day 4
Well, today I'm a little less enthusiastic than I have been. I'm glad I made an upbeat post last night, because I think it's time to re-read it and then spend a little snuggle time with the kids.
I think my post today, pretty much explains how I feel. Have you ever spoken your mind and instantly wish you hadn't? Said something, only to have 10 people beat you down for it? Oh the power of social media. It's great in some ways, and horrible in others. Being made to feel that you don't measure up, is never a nice feeling. I don't care if you're 2, or 72.
For my project 365 today, I almost opted out. I almost searched through my already taken pictures. I do have a plethora of them. But that isn't the point of this project. This project is to shoot everyday. To get better at taking images, capturing moments, and conveying emotion. So instead of just finding an image to stick here today, I grabbed my camera and went for a walk with the kids. I got a few of them, but the light was fleeting, and I'm simply just down today. I can't do their sweet little faces justice. So I snapped a picture of this field that is across the way from our house. I always love this field. In the summer, the grass grows green, and high, there are dandelions, pretty green leaves on the small but gorgeous trees. The cows and their calves, grazing out there.laying down when there is a storm coming. I love this field.
Today, though, it looked like I felt. Lonely, cold, desolate. It still holds it's beauty, even if it's not the lush green place it normally is. So today, this is my capture. This tree. This solitary tree. It's mingled bare branches, outstretching. The forest line seeming so far away.
<3 Jes with 1 s
Thursday, January 3, 2013
I feel compelled to write this now
It's late, 3 out of 4 wee ones, have been bathed and put to bed. Now it's just me, here alone with you. My sweet little Evangeline. I feel like I need to write this down when all is still and I'm enjoying this calm, quiet with you.
Tonight I was lucky enough to have a little "special" time alone with each little girl. I loved every second. Just like I love them. There are days, many of them, that they drive me absolutely bonkers. Totally on the brink of insanity at some points! Motherhood is a beautiful thing, yes, but it's also pure INSANITY! For two reasons, one, because you're an adult, trying to get inside the mind of a child, and two, because you're loving this insane little creature beyond measure. And that's why I'm posting. As crazy as I'm driven, as lonely as this can sometimes be(but know this, my husband is amazing. If he could chose to be anywhere, it would be here. It's not for lack of having a stellar husband that I'm lonely, it's just my job sometimes as an army wife), as stressed as I feel or look, as tired as I am, I am above all else THANKFUL. I don't say it as often as I should. So I would like to do so now. I'm thankful. I have 1 sweet, so grown up, sensitive little girl. My oldest baby, 8 years old(where on earth has the time gone?) going on 30. So understanding. So loving. Always beautiful. From head to toe and deep into her little soul. My Madelynn. You motivate me to be better, to teach you more, and to encourage all of the things you love! You sing, like you're the first person who ever did. You are proud of all that you create(did I mention, she's an artist too), you think you could out dance all of those ballerinas ;) God love you, that confidence is something I'm so proud to have helped encourage, even if only just a little bit! I can't take credit for who you are though, you were simply born amazing my love!
Then there's YOU. Sophie. Dear lord, you are my wild child. You challenge me daily. Do you ever! If anyone ever knew how to push my buttons, it's you kiddo! But when you hug, you hug hard! I never want to let you go when I get into those Sophie snuggles! You have the most vivid imagination I have ever come across! It truly is a beautiful thing(even though those off the wall explanation for things can sometimes tip me a wee bit sideways), how you come up with the things you do, I will never know! But please know, mommy appreciates how deep your dreams go! And goodness, your sense of humor?!?! Seriously kid? You've got the comedic timing of some of the GREATS! When I'm mad as a hornet, you can say something in just such a way, that I have to turn my head to smile to myself or else I will bust out completely laughing! And I will admit, sometimes you cause me to lose complete composure in a moment because you are just SO funny! I love you, you little wild thing!
And my Lucy. Sweet, sweet Lucy. Yes you're two. Yes it can be terrible, but from the day you were born, you've been the sweetest little person. So calm. An old soul for sure. I can talk to you, totally over your head, but you look at me with this intensity, like you comprehend each and every word. You're so beautiful. So sweet. I love that you check on your sisters, even if they've been less than nice to you. You always look for baby Evie. Early morning, or late at night, you have to know that baby is ok! I love that you coddle each and every person in our family. A pouty lip, and you come running with those chubby little arms open. Embracing us, with your sweet little baby curls falling right in our face. You push us back and ask "You okay?" and we are. But only because of you my sweet. You are just so, well, I'm the luckiest lady alive to have you in my life baby girl.
And I'm not even finished yet! Evangeline. My youngest baby. You are pure innocence right now. It's perfect. You're perfect. Tiny, beautiful, loving, full of spirit, and just, you. I don't know exactly what you're going to be like, but I have a darn good idea. You're so sweet. If you could stay in my arms all day you would. Your smile, well, it only gets bigger when you see me smiling back :) and inside I melt when you do that. Those baby gummy smiles, how you have your own little humor at 8 months, and how you can make each of us girls happy by giving us a gummy grin is just, well, as perfect as you are. I'm so thankful. I'm so lucky. I'm so blessed to be your mommy. I wish I could keep you my tiny baby forever. You're growing far too fast. Already crawling and I have to admit, my heart swells when you come across the room to me :) and nursing you. Man, sometimes it's hard! Some days I don't like it, but then at night, when it's quiet and it's just you and me all cuddly and warm......I wouldn't have it any other way. You looking up at me with those big blue eyes you still have, I am so happy. Then this leads me to the next person I'm thankful for.
I know that as I'm watching each of these girls grow, learn, love, someone is missing it. Someone who would do ANYTHING to be here. My husband. Trav, I'm so thankful for you too. You keep me grounded, you support me through anything, and you try so hard to make sure we're all okay. You take care of each of us in SO many ways. Being a guy, in a house full of girls, CAN'T be easy. We all want to talk, we all want to cuddle, we all need you, but somehow, you make it seem effortless. We all feel SO loved by you. There isn't a girl in this house who feels like we don't have the best daddy(or husband as the case may be) in the entire world. You are kind, giving, just.....amazing. I'm sure that's not easy, balancing working for the army(and things I still don't know that you do), and keeping us all happy? Is that considered a super-power? I think so. I know some days I'm down right deranged, but somehow you put up with me, and even love me. You are the absolute best my love. I cannot wait until you're home, here, watching these amazing kiddos run circles around me! Because of you, I've been blessed with watching our girls grow. I've been allowed to be with them, every moment. And while some days I wish I could have a break, I'm STILL thankful I can be with all four of these absolutely WONDERFUL girls. I don't have to worry about their care. I just get to be here, and enjoy it. You've given me a gift I can never truly repay you for. I'll do my best to document it all, but I hope you know how much it means to me that I've been able to be with our girls and watch them grow each day. I love you. For everything that you do baby. I'll see you soon. Not NEARLY soon enough, but much sooner than it has been on our countdown. Closer each day, right? Maybe remind me of that in a few days, when I go bats*@# crazy at how much longer we still have to go.
I just wanted to write it down. Not for everyone else, but for me. On those days when I feel like I could rip out my hair, or cry for the rest of the evening(a peanut butter painted sofa can do that to a girl, you know), to remember what I have to be thankful for. To look for those beautiful things, that make each of my girls so special. I am blessed. To the gills. And I love you all, more than life itself. I hope one day, you'll know just how much. Now I'm going to continue cuddling with my sweet Evie-pie, and grab a little sleep before another day starts all over again :)
Tonight I was lucky enough to have a little "special" time alone with each little girl. I loved every second. Just like I love them. There are days, many of them, that they drive me absolutely bonkers. Totally on the brink of insanity at some points! Motherhood is a beautiful thing, yes, but it's also pure INSANITY! For two reasons, one, because you're an adult, trying to get inside the mind of a child, and two, because you're loving this insane little creature beyond measure. And that's why I'm posting. As crazy as I'm driven, as lonely as this can sometimes be(but know this, my husband is amazing. If he could chose to be anywhere, it would be here. It's not for lack of having a stellar husband that I'm lonely, it's just my job sometimes as an army wife), as stressed as I feel or look, as tired as I am, I am above all else THANKFUL. I don't say it as often as I should. So I would like to do so now. I'm thankful. I have 1 sweet, so grown up, sensitive little girl. My oldest baby, 8 years old(where on earth has the time gone?) going on 30. So understanding. So loving. Always beautiful. From head to toe and deep into her little soul. My Madelynn. You motivate me to be better, to teach you more, and to encourage all of the things you love! You sing, like you're the first person who ever did. You are proud of all that you create(did I mention, she's an artist too), you think you could out dance all of those ballerinas ;) God love you, that confidence is something I'm so proud to have helped encourage, even if only just a little bit! I can't take credit for who you are though, you were simply born amazing my love!
Then there's YOU. Sophie. Dear lord, you are my wild child. You challenge me daily. Do you ever! If anyone ever knew how to push my buttons, it's you kiddo! But when you hug, you hug hard! I never want to let you go when I get into those Sophie snuggles! You have the most vivid imagination I have ever come across! It truly is a beautiful thing(even though those off the wall explanation for things can sometimes tip me a wee bit sideways), how you come up with the things you do, I will never know! But please know, mommy appreciates how deep your dreams go! And goodness, your sense of humor?!?! Seriously kid? You've got the comedic timing of some of the GREATS! When I'm mad as a hornet, you can say something in just such a way, that I have to turn my head to smile to myself or else I will bust out completely laughing! And I will admit, sometimes you cause me to lose complete composure in a moment because you are just SO funny! I love you, you little wild thing!
And my Lucy. Sweet, sweet Lucy. Yes you're two. Yes it can be terrible, but from the day you were born, you've been the sweetest little person. So calm. An old soul for sure. I can talk to you, totally over your head, but you look at me with this intensity, like you comprehend each and every word. You're so beautiful. So sweet. I love that you check on your sisters, even if they've been less than nice to you. You always look for baby Evie. Early morning, or late at night, you have to know that baby is ok! I love that you coddle each and every person in our family. A pouty lip, and you come running with those chubby little arms open. Embracing us, with your sweet little baby curls falling right in our face. You push us back and ask "You okay?" and we are. But only because of you my sweet. You are just so, well, I'm the luckiest lady alive to have you in my life baby girl.
And I'm not even finished yet! Evangeline. My youngest baby. You are pure innocence right now. It's perfect. You're perfect. Tiny, beautiful, loving, full of spirit, and just, you. I don't know exactly what you're going to be like, but I have a darn good idea. You're so sweet. If you could stay in my arms all day you would. Your smile, well, it only gets bigger when you see me smiling back :) and inside I melt when you do that. Those baby gummy smiles, how you have your own little humor at 8 months, and how you can make each of us girls happy by giving us a gummy grin is just, well, as perfect as you are. I'm so thankful. I'm so lucky. I'm so blessed to be your mommy. I wish I could keep you my tiny baby forever. You're growing far too fast. Already crawling and I have to admit, my heart swells when you come across the room to me :) and nursing you. Man, sometimes it's hard! Some days I don't like it, but then at night, when it's quiet and it's just you and me all cuddly and warm......I wouldn't have it any other way. You looking up at me with those big blue eyes you still have, I am so happy. Then this leads me to the next person I'm thankful for.
I know that as I'm watching each of these girls grow, learn, love, someone is missing it. Someone who would do ANYTHING to be here. My husband. Trav, I'm so thankful for you too. You keep me grounded, you support me through anything, and you try so hard to make sure we're all okay. You take care of each of us in SO many ways. Being a guy, in a house full of girls, CAN'T be easy. We all want to talk, we all want to cuddle, we all need you, but somehow, you make it seem effortless. We all feel SO loved by you. There isn't a girl in this house who feels like we don't have the best daddy(or husband as the case may be) in the entire world. You are kind, giving, just.....amazing. I'm sure that's not easy, balancing working for the army(and things I still don't know that you do), and keeping us all happy? Is that considered a super-power? I think so. I know some days I'm down right deranged, but somehow you put up with me, and even love me. You are the absolute best my love. I cannot wait until you're home, here, watching these amazing kiddos run circles around me! Because of you, I've been blessed with watching our girls grow. I've been allowed to be with them, every moment. And while some days I wish I could have a break, I'm STILL thankful I can be with all four of these absolutely WONDERFUL girls. I don't have to worry about their care. I just get to be here, and enjoy it. You've given me a gift I can never truly repay you for. I'll do my best to document it all, but I hope you know how much it means to me that I've been able to be with our girls and watch them grow each day. I love you. For everything that you do baby. I'll see you soon. Not NEARLY soon enough, but much sooner than it has been on our countdown. Closer each day, right? Maybe remind me of that in a few days, when I go bats*@# crazy at how much longer we still have to go.
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